Fantasy Vs REALITY

Fantasy Vs Reality

I want to take this opportunity to discuss something that you may experience or may witness whilst engaging in the swinging lifestyle, that is the problem of fantasy vs reality. What do I mean by this? Well in this context I am discussing the reality of engaging in a swinging activity vs the fantasy that played within our mind before the experience!

Now I want to make this clear, this can affect anyone in the lifestyle, While most common with new couples it can indeed come on at a later stage triggered by any number of reasons,

Often when you ask a new couple why they got into the lifestyle, the answer is something like “ I always thought about it” or “It has always been a fantasy”, now these statements can be for a number of reasons but often stem from something we have witnessed or read.

However, when it comes time to actively engage those fantasies often turn to fear or jealousy, firstly it is not uncommon to experience these feelings.

I have seen many times a partner enjoying their experience but as soon as their partner starts to receive attention, they become jealous and even aggressive and it often leads to a quick ending of activities, so why is this?

Often it is our preconceived thoughts and that fantasy we build in our heads versus the reality of what’s playing out, the idea of me being satisfied by multiple people is a massive turn-on, but have I considered how seeing my partner being satisfied by anyone but me might make me feel? This is often a missed thought and again these feelings can change during the activity.

So is this lifestyle for me?

Well, that’s not a yes-no answer, but I would say that some serious reflection needs to take place, you need to try to work out what is causing the feelings and if it is something you both truly wish to work on, remember if you are apart of a couple both of you need to be wanting this lifestyle not just one partner, please don’t just do it to satisfy their desires, swinging whilst a great idea isn’t necessarily for everyone, having open and clear communication with your partner is vital for any healthy relationship and this is no different.

For further support please reach out to an open friendly counsellor or therapist, for any additional support please message us via our Facebook page Open Door QLD, we are here and available for support